A Minecraft Movie
For a film that's about creativity, this kid flick is pretty unoriginal.
Skipping out of the theater, elementary-aged kids were bursting with excitement as they just watched “A Minecraft Movie.” Although, part of their excitement might be that spring break just started and they didn’t have school the next morning. Plus, they were likely loaded up with sugar from cherry slushies. Every child had a smile on their face.
I overhead a husband say to his wife, exasperated, “Well… that was the worst movie I’ve ever seen.”
“Well, at least the kids had fun,” she said softly, “That’s what really matters.”
Let’s get the most important thing out of the way: If your child is under 10 years old, they will have a blast. My six-year-old daughter couldn’t quit talking about it. A colleague of mine with middle school boys expressed less enthusiasm.
Unlike that dad’s opinion, “A Minecraft Movie,” is nowhere near the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but the best I could describe it as is “meh.” Parents might enjoy bits and pieces of this weird and quirky live-action/CGI video game adaption, but the computer-generated nonsense grows tiresome by the end. You’ll likely start looking up sports scores on your phone with the brightness turned down.
The video game franchise launched in 2011 and has become insanely popular for its ability to let users create nearly anything they want and interact with users around the globe. For those who have never played, it’s basically Legos — but more complicated. The sandbox game has spawned tons of fast-selling merchandise and rakes in billions of dollars a year in revenue. A live-action movie — especially after the success of “The Super Mario Bros. Movie” — made perfect sense. (And it’s projected to rake in decent bucks in its opening weekend).
But what they ended up with seemed more geared towards creating a sellable movie trailer than a movie that demands repeat viewings.
Jack Black stars as Steve, a 1980s weirdo (no other real personality except just a version of Jack Black) who goes into a mine with a pickaxe only to discover the Orb of Dominance and the Earth Crystal, using them to enter the Overworld, which is basically the world of the video game (which doesn’t exist in this movie). Everything is bright and colorful and cube-shaped. He spends years building his own village only to eventually get trapped by evil pigs who hate creativity.
The cube and the crystal are eventually discovered by Jason Momoa, playing a cocky video-game expert who dresses like Macho Man Randy Savage. His path crosses with a dorky (but creative) high schooler, his older sister/guardian and their real estate agent (who wants to open a petting zoo).
Director Jared Hess, who previously helmed “Napoleon Dynamite,” “Nacho Libre” and “Gentleman Broncos,” creates a world filled with supremely confident (but strange) adults who spout lines that are almost non-sequiturs. The humor is pretty adolescent with lots of comments about people’s butts (by the 3rd or 4th one, I thought it was somewhat weird).
The movie has a very positive message about being yourself and celebrating creativity, but it’s not a particularly smart film with that resonates emotionally. I know it’s based on a video game without any real story, but it’s possible to make a good movie out of any intellectual property. If “Barbie” became an Oscar-nominated movie, then all you need is a great screenplay. Unfortunately, “A Minecraft Movie” has five screenwriters (never a good sign) and a director on board that’s never been known for real art.
It’s also a little annoying to see a movie that’s so clearly geared toward getting kids to spend more money in their online world. I’m sure the thought process was, “Even if the movie isn’t good and it doesn’t make enough money at the box office, all of the theater goers will go home and spend more money on ‘Minecraft.’ They’re paying to watch a commercial for our product!”
I’m sorry for being so cynical. I had fun because my daughter had fun. But when this one hits streaming, I likely won’t suggest it as something to watch.