Alternative Christmas Movies

Tired of the mushy, romantic holiday spirited films that are about to inundate our TV screens? Then grab your blanket, cat or partner and prepare for the more alternative movies centered around this most wonderful time of year.

Bad Santa (2003)

If a drunk Santa Claus pissing his pants in front of children doesn’t kick the festive spirit out of you then the depressive mood will have drained it away by the time the credits roll. Billy Bob Thornton stars as a drunken department store Santa Claus/conman who, together with his Elf partner in crime Marcus (Tony Cox), spreads the Christmas spirit by day and robs the store by night. This seemingly perfect set up is ruined when Willie (Thornton) befriends an 8 year old boy, not your average cute kid, but an overweight preteen who latches himself onto Santa like a leech and won’t let go. Thornton’s portrayal is brilliantly twisted as the foul mouthed, unkempt and angry Santa. His chronic use of the f-word combined with kicking a reindeer over in his Santa suit and drinking just before his act as Santa Claus makes this the best worst Christmas movie yet.

Worst festive moment: Willie/Santa Claus swearing at kids as they sit on his lap and ask for presents.

Jack Frost (1997)

Prepare for some more Christmas themed killings. Be warned: this is the black comedy/snowman slasher movie not the fuzzy feel good movie with Michael Keaton of the same name. Serial killer Jack Frost (Scott McDonald) on his way to his execution is involved in a car wreck with a truck containing experimental genetic material. After a five year killing rampage Frost is caught by Sheriff Sam Tiler (Christopher Allport) and sentenced to death. There is a freak car accident whilst being transported to his execution in a blizzard. Unfortunately for the people of Snomonton the vehicle transporting Frost collides with a truck containing genetic material and he is fused into a killer snowman. A new murderous lease of life for Frost as he makes his way through the local townsfolk spreading death and mayhem in his wake. Expect a lot of puns and a few gross death scenes from this classic B-movie.

Worst festive moment: A rape scene involving Jack, a young Shannon Elizabeth in a bath tub and a carrot.

Die Hard (1988)

Every film fan is familiar with Bruce Willis’ John McClane, his dirty white undershirt and wrong time wrong place attitude. On a trip to LA in an attempt a reconciliation with his estranged wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia) McClane ends up taking down a group of terrorists and their leader Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) at the Nakatomi Plaza building. A must for your alternative Christmas movie list this is action packed festive fun.

Worst festive moment: The whole movie. John McClane has to spend his Christmas vacation fighting bad guys barefoot.

Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984)

A killer is hunting down men dressed as Santa Claus in this Brit horror film. Originally directed by Edmund Purdom two other directors have also had their go at it after he quit, plus its been through a script re-write. Inspector Ian Harris (Purdom) attempts at tracking down the killer are moderate at best. Despite being on the hunt for a murderer he ignores a package delivered to his home because it is marked 'don't open till Christmas.' This horror movie will do the trick if you’re in the mood for some good old fashioned slasher killings with a Christmassy twist.

Worst festive moment: All the Santa related slaughters.

Mixed Nuts (1994)

A remake of the French film Le Père Noël est une ordure with comedy reliable Steve Martin at the helm. The day before Christmas in LA three employees battle to save the suicide prevention hotline ‘Lifesavers’ as a lack of funding has resulted in their eviction. Hilarious capers ensue. The title most likely refers to the mixed ‘nuts’ working at the hotline, is also a Christmassy themed pun, but could relate to the strange mix of actors appearing in this 1994 film with appearances from Liev Schreiber (in drag no less), Anthony LaPaglia, Juliette Lewis and Adam Sandler, among others.

Worst festive moment: Pregnant Gracie (Juliette Lewis) strangely receives $250,000 for killing the Seaside Strangler then gives birth under a Christmas tree in the same minute.

The Ref (1994)

Unfortunately for Gus (Denis Leary) he is not only abandoned by his partner in crime during a burglary but he picks the worst family as hostages and ends up playing referee to their various problems. After a gruelling marriage counselling session with her husband Lloyd (Kevin Spacey) Caroline Chasseur (Judy Davis) is held up at gunpoint by Gus in the market. They are both taken back to their home so Gus has time to plan an escape. A set of irritable in-laws and a troubled teenage son Jesse (Robert J. Steinmiller Jnr) are added to the mix, forcing him to play counsellor. Before long the bickering and fighting becomes too much for Gus and he must solve their problems in order to escape.

Worst festive moment: all the family fighting will add a damp blanket to your festive mood.