Anaconda
The first half of "Anaconda" is really fun and funny, but it slithers its way to mediocrity with a bombastic second half.
Film Yap is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Sony could’ve had a conversation with itself regarding its new reimagining of “Anaconda” (now in theaters).
“Hey, you got our newfangled ‘Jumanji’ mixed in with our reboot of ‘Anaconda!’ Yeah, but you got our reboot of ‘Anaconda’ mixed in with our newfangled ‘Jumanji!’”
Jack Black and Paul Rudd star as lifelong friends Doug McCallister and Ronald “Griff” Griffin Jr., respectively. They grew up making movies in Buffalo, N.Y. with their buddies Kenny Trent (Steve Zahn, reteaming with Black for the first time in almost 25 years after “Saving Silverman”) and Claire Simons (Thandiwe Newton) with dreams of breaking big.
Griff made the move to Los Angeles and all he has to show for it is a 4-episode arc on “S.W.AT.” He’s feeling particularly low after getting sacked as Doctor No. 3 on another show for flubbing his one or two lines. Doug stayed in Buffalo where he married Malie (Ione Skye – nice to see her again as it’s been a bit), fathered Charlie (Sebastian Sero) and works making wedding videos that he refers to as his films.
Griff returns to Buffalo to celebrate Doug’s birthday with an idea. He thinks they should remake director Luis Llosa’s so-so 1997 creature feature “Anaconda.” Soon enough they’re off to the Brazilian Amazon with snake wrangler Santiago Braga (Selton Mello, hot after co-starring in last year’s Best International Feature Film Oscar-winner “I’m Still Here”) on a boat captained by Ana Almeida (Daniela Melchior, underused). Things go sideways and soon enough the friends find themselves fighting for survival against the Amazon’s elements and inhabitants.
“Anaconda” is co-written by Tom Gormican and Kevin Etten and directed by Gormican (these guys previously collaborated on the meta Nic Cage action-comedy “The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent”). “Anaconda” isn’t as successful of an action-comedy as “Unbearable Weight” and doesn’t work at all as a horror picture, but that doesn’t mean it’s not without its charms.
The first half of the flick is really fun and funny when Gormican and Etten focus on the friends’ relationships and their shared love of cinema. The movie takes a big hit when two characters depart the proceedings midway through. Black and Rudd’s faces are plastered all over the posters and they’re reliably good and funny, but Zahn steals the show time and again as Kenny Trent – a burnout who claims to be “Buffalo Sober” meaning he only drinks beer, wine and light liquors.
“Anaconda” slithers its way to mediocrity with a bombastic second half. I mostly just wanted to keep hanging and having laughs with this likable group of friends, but there’s no IP-driven lucre to be derived there.



