Cinema Smackdown: Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Sylvester Stallone
It's long been the cinematic dream-match: The mega-stars of the 1980s squaring off in the same movie? Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger never were able to face off cinematically in their primes (and no, that one-scene tease in "The Expendables" doesn't come close to counting).
Bathe in the testosterone of their filmographes: the "Rocky," "Terminator," "Rambo," and "Conan" films; "Cobra," "True Lies," "Cliffhanger," "Total Recall," "Tango and Cash," "Commando," "Assassins," "Predator." Are there two more prolific action stars on the planet? (The answer to this question, of course, is no.)
So who would win between these two titans of the big screen? Ask 100 movie fans and you'll likely have a 50-50 split. But in the Yap's arena, there must be a winner! Watch as these two Hollywood gargantuans slug it out for the title of greatest action star of all time!
Let's get it on!
Signature Roles
Stallone: Without a doubt, Sly is best known for two roles: underdog boxer Rocky Balboa and mentally scarred Vietnam veteran John Rambo. He's had a few one-off hits, like "Cobra" and "Cliffhanger," but he'll always be known for those two roles above all.
Schwarzenegger: Ah-nold is and always shall be the Terminator, the unstoppable killing machine from the future who has been both hero and villain. But he's got a little more diversity as well. Secondary roles he's most known for include Harry Tasker in "True Lies," Dutch in "Predator," the title character in the "Conan" films and Doug Quaid in "Total Recall."
Advantage: Schwarzenegger
Critical Acclaim
Stallone: Won an Oscar for writing "Rocky."
Schwarzenegger: Spectacularly failed in his attempt at "real acting" in "End of Days."
Advantage: Stallone
Box Office Boffo
Stallone: Topped out domestically at $150 million for "Rambo: First Blood Part II"; total receipts of $1.74 billion over 34 films for an average of $51.2 million.
Schwarzenegger: Highest-grossing domestic film was "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" at $204 million; total receipts of $1.62 billion over 23 films for an average gross of $70.5 million.
(Source: Box Office Mojo)
Advantage: Schwarzenegger
Big-Time Flops
Stallone: Where to begin? Pretty much any attempt at straight-up comedy, such as "Oscar" or "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot," B-grade action like "Driven," "Judge Dredd," "Avenging Angelo," "Lock Up" and "Daylight," unnecessary franchise entries like "Rocky V," the ill-conceived "Saturday Night Fever" sequel "Staying Alive" and, despite acclaim for Stallone's performance, "Cop Land."
Schwarzenegger: "Last Action Hero" was a spectacular failure and his turn as Mr. Freeze in "Batman and Robin" is considered one of the worst comic-book movie villains ever. "Days," "Collateral Damage" and "The 6th Day" are among his other disappointments.
Advantage: Schwarzenegger
Comedic Interludes
Stallone: With mega-flops like "Oscar" and "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!," straight comedy just isn't in Stallone's wheelhouse. Most of Sly's roles were stoic and straitlaced.
Schwarzenegger: Drawing raves for "Twins," Arnold saw his cultural iconography grow with "Kindergarten Cop" ("It's naddatooma!") and fared at least passably well in films like "Junior" and "Jingle All the Way." Plus, many of his action heroes also had a comedic edge to them.
Advantage: Schwarzenegger
Early Roles
Stallone: Stallone debuted in the pornographic film "The Party at Kitty and Stud's" and several years later landed a role as the villain in Roger Corman's schlock classic, "Death Race 2000." He then made "Rocky" the following year.
Schwarzenegger: The title character in 1969's "Hercules in New York," Arnold was billed as "Arnold Strong." The famed 1977 documentary "Pumping Iron" was most of America's first cinematic exposure to Schwarzenegger.
Advantage: Stallone
Schlocky Goodness
Stallone: Played arm-wrestling truck driver Lincoln Hawk in 1987's "Over the Top," battling Robert Loggia for custody of his son; played cop Marion Cobretti in "Cobra" in 1985; was 1990s cop John Spartan, frozen and thawed out in the future in "Demolition Man"; played a cabbie turned country-music star in 1984's "Rhinestone" opposite Dolly Parton. His role in "Death Race 2000" was one of the great bad performances of all time.
Schwarzenegger: "Hercules"; early Marvel Comics film "Red Sonja," made in the wake of the success of "Conan"; "Batman & Robin."
Advantage: Stallone
Main Rivals
Stallone: In the initial run of "Rocky" films: Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers), Clubber Lang (Mr. T.), Thunderlips (Hulk Hogan) and Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren); other notables include Wesley Snipes ("Demolition Man") and ... John Lithgow ("Cliffhanger")!?
Schwarzenegger: From the "Terminator" series, Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) and Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn), the T-1000 (Robert Patrick) and the T-X (Kristanna Loken); the Predator (Kevin Peter Hall); Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones); terrorists ("True Lies"; "Collateral Damage"); Batman (George Clooney); Ronny Cox ("Total Recall"); Satan (Gabriel Byrne) in "End of Days"; and lastly, uh, Sinbad ("Jingle All the Way") and ... Richard Dawson ("The Running Man")!?
Advantage: Schwarzenegger
Franchise longevity
Stallone: Six "Rocky" films (most recently in 2006) and four "Rambo" films (most recently in 2008).
Schwarzenegger: Four "Terminator" films (he made only a CGI "cameo" in the last entry, 2009's "Terminator Salvation") and two "Conan" films.
Advantage: Stallone
Signature line
Stallone: "Yo, Adrian!"
Schwarzenegger: "I'll be back."
Advantage: Schwarzenegger
Winner
The Governator! Schwarzenegger drops the hammer on Sly, 5-4! With any luck, Stallone will live up to the promise of "The Expendables II" that he fell short with in the first film — namely getting all of the great action stars of the 1980s together for one film, capped off by a bloody, to-the-death battle between the geriatric badasses Arnie and Sly. But probably not.
Previous Cinema Smackdowns
Kingpin vs. The Big Lebowski Batman (1966) vs. Batman (1989) vs. Batman Begins It’s a Wonderful Life vs. A Christmas Story Crash (1996) vs. Crash (2004)