Cinema SmackDown!: "It's A Wonderful Life" vs. "A Christmas Story"
For a holiday as steeped in tradition as Chrismas is, "new classics" are in short supply. And to even mention a movie made in the 80s alongside a Frank Capra classic in some circles would be considered heresy.
Yet its unyielding humor and respect for (but willingness to lampoon) nostalgia for days gone by allows 1983's "A Christmas Story" the rare honor of being called arguably the greatest Christmas film of all time. Little Ralphie's singular quest for the BB gun he wants, along with the exploration of all things small-town midwestern Americana...well, you name me one other film that plays on a loop for 24 hours every year.
But the old-school and purists would chafe at that argument, and most argue that "It's a Wonderful Life" is THE quintessential Christmas movie. Jimmy Stewart, Donna Reed, a fallen angel, and a desperate explosion of the Christmas spirit...what says Christmas more than that?
Which of these Herculean holiday yarns takes the title of Best Christmas Movie Ever? There's only one way to decide:
Hero
Little Ralphie Parker (Peter Billingsley) lives a boy's life in 1930s Indiana. He only wants one thing for Christmas: a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot range model air rifle...but no one seems to be listening, not his mom or dad, his teacher, or even Santa himself.
In "Life," George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) is a struggling businessman desperately clinging to his modest building and loan. When it all falls apart, George thinks he's a failure and contemplates suicide just in time for Christmas.
Advantage: "Life"
Villain
Mr. Potter is the scourge of Bedford Falls, a greedy old miser who aims to own the whole town, and doesn't care whose necks he has to step on to get there. When he finds George's lost money, he hides it rather than returning it to him, leading George down his suicidal road.
Scut Farkus is the town bully and scourge to every 9-year-old in the world. With his yellow eyes (so help me God, yellow eyes!), coonskin cap, and his little toady, he delights in the squeals of little boys everywhere.
Advantage: "Life"
Christmas Spirit
In "Life," Clarence is an angel hoping to earn his wings. Like George, he's down on his luck and is just looking for his little piece of the pie.
In "Story," the living embodiement of Christmas is for much of the film materialism, headed by the department store Santa Claus who is trying to just get through the line by closing so he doesn't have to stay late. Unfortunately rather than spreading the Christmas spirit, he spreads abject terror to every kid who comes across his lap before his grouchy elves send them down the snowy Christmas chute and back to their parents.
Advantage: "Story"
Holiday Doldrums
"Life": George is depressed because he feels he's a failure, has ruined things for himself and his family, and wants to just off himself.
"Story": Ralph becomes depressed because he doesn't think he's getting his prized BB gun for Christmas.
Advantage: Push
Sidekick
Ralph has his little brother Randy, along with Flick and a couple of other friends who do things like stick their tongues on frozen flagpoles.
George Bailey has Clarence, an angel, who teaches him the true meaning of life.
Advantage: "Life."
Classic Scene
"Life": A newly rejuvenated George, in the spirit of Ebenezer Scrooge, realizes what he has and barrels through the snowy streets of Bedford Falls bellowing Merry Christmas to everyone he sees.
"Story": Here's a challenge for you: name me a scene in "A Christmas Story" that ISN'T a classic moment. "Show me how the piggies eat," the leg lamp, Flick's tongue on the flagpole, the bunny suit, Santa Claus, Black Bart, soap poisoning, "I can't put my arms down!," "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine," "Where did you hear that word?," Ralphie snapping and beating up Scut Farkus, "OHHHHH, FUUUDDDDGE." The film is a veritable repository of classic scenes. It is enough to unseat "Life's iconography? Is the Lone Ranger's nephew's horse named Victor?
Advantage: "Story"
Catch Phrase
"Story": "You'll shoot your eye out, kid."
"Life": "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings."
Advantage: "Story"
Child Abuse
"Life": A young George gets slapped around by a drunk Mr. Gower, his boss, making his ear bleed.
"Story": Ralph and his friends are bullied by Scut Farkus (and Ralph bloodies Scut's nose in a fight later on); Ralph has his mouth washed out with soap after he swears; Ralph, lying, rats out Schwartz as the source of said swear word, who is beaten by his mother off-camera; Ralph and Randy are threatened with punishment by their parents.
Advantage: "Story"
Life Lessons
"Life": You mean more to people than you realize; in fact, you have a profound effect on those who love you, and even into the larger community. You'll be missed if you're gone. And killing yourself is bad.
"Story": At Christmas time, your wacky family is undoubtedly the best thing you have going for yourself, even if you think otherwise. Christmas, for all its bells and whistles, hype and commercialism, is really all about connecting with your loved ones. And in the end, Dad always has your back.
Advantage: Push
Winner
"A Christmas Story" squeaks it out! These two heavyweights are both grand spectacles of Christmas spirit, but it's "Story" and its tradition-defying (and glorifying) lampooning of the stereotypical Norman Rockwell/Clark W. Griswold Family Christmas that pulls it out. Ralph and Old Blue take George Bailey to the mat.
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