Final Destination Bloodlines
Horror franchise comes back to RIP-roaring life after 14-year dormancy.
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It’s been 14 years since we were treated to and/or had inflicted upon us the last “Final Destination” flick. Ironically, these movies that are preoccupied with death have been released during important times of my own life – I was a senior in high school with one, a college student with two, a recent college grad with three, just entering into a relationship with the woman who’d become the love of my life with four and newly married with five. Now I’m just a middle-aged schlub who still gets a kick from the sick, which made me excited for and handsomely rewarded by “Final Destination Bloodlines” (now in theaters).
Historically studious college student Stefani Reyes (Kaitlyn Santa Juana) is being threatened with academic probation as a recurring nightmare is incessantly stopping her from getting a good night’s sleep.
The bad dream concerns her grandparents Paul (Max Lloyd-Jones) and Iris Campbell (Brec Bassinger) attending the opening of a Space Needle-esque tower back in the 1960s. Iris has a vision of the structure’s cataclysmic collapse and winds up saving lots of lives defying Death’s plan
Old Iris (Gabrielle Rose) goes to ground hiding from Death and ostracizes her family in the process. Iris’ daughter Darlene (Rya Kihlstedt) follows in her mother’s paranoid footsteps by abandoning her husband Marty (Tinpo Lee), her son Charlie (Teo Briones, a regular on the Syfy/USA series “Chucky” alongside “Final Destination” OG Devon Sawa) and Stefani.
Darlene’s older brother Howard (Alex Zahara) took a different tack by being a loving and doting husband to Brenda (April Amber Telek) and father to Erik (scene-stealer Richard Harmon), Julia (Anna Lore) and Bobby (Owen Patrick Joyner) ensuring his kids had a happier childhood than he did.
Stefani tracks down and speaks with Old Iris and William John Bludworth (the late, great Tony Todd, a franchise fixture who’s given a loving and touching swan song) to get to the bottom of what her nightmare means and what impact it may have on the safety and survival of she and her family.
“Final Destination Bloodlines” is helmed by Zach Lipovsky and Adam B. Stein (they previously co-directed the 2018 sci-fi/thriller “Freaks”) and scripted by frequent Radio Silence writer Guy Busick and Lori Evans Taylor (she co-wrote the 2024 thriller “Cellar Door”) with a story assist from producer and recent “Spider-Man” helmer Jon Watts.
It’s definitely the best of the series thus far. It’s got all the intricate, gory, ridiculous, Rube Goldberg-ian deaths we’ve come to love and expect from this franchise, but it also has plenty of heart - heart for its characters and their relationships to one another and most of all heart for the life and legacy of Todd.
I recommend seeing “Final Destination Bloodlines” as big and loud as possible with a raucous crowd. The two old queens sitting near me and I had a good ol’ time hooping and hollering at the escalating series of horrors. Just don’t bring a baby (cute and quiet though she may be) like another patron at my screening.