Heart Eyes
Bloody rom-com deftly balances the horrific and humorous while simultaneously sporting a surprisingly sweet streak.
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Those open to adventurous programming for their Valentine’s Day festivities could do a whole helluva lot worse than “Heart Eyes” (now in theaters), which deftly balances the horrific and humorous while simultaneously sporting a surprisingly sweet streak. It isn’t the first Valentine’s Day-themed horror flick – we were previously gifted “My Bloody Valentine” (1981), its 3D remake of the same name from 2009 and the shoddy early aughts offering “Valentine” – but I’d argue it’s easily the best of the bunch.
It’s Valentine’s Day and Seattlite Ally (Olivia Holt, “Totally Killer”) has been having a rough go of it. She and her English wanker boyfriend Collin (Ben Black) broke up and he’s been rubbing her face in his new relationship with Sienna (Karishma Grebneff) on the socials.
Worse still is the blowback she’s been receiving at work over an ill-conceived jewelry advertisement revolving around doomed love. Her blustery, alliterative boss Crystal Cane (the almost always amusing Michaela Watkins) has brought in outside consultant Jay Simmons (Mason Gooding) to help diminish the backlash and create a new campaign.
Ally and Jay met cute earlier in the day when they commiserated over having the same coffee order. Awkardness and inadvertent headbutts ensued. Regardless Jay invites Ally to dinner at a posh restaurant in order to bandy some ideas back and forth. Cue a preparatory “Pretty Woman” dressing room montage featuring Ally and her bestie/co-worker Monica (a very fun Gigi Zumbado).
Ally’s initial interstitial caused the stir it did due to the presence of The Heart Eyes Killer (known by the authorities as HEK), a masked serial murderer who previously struck in Boston and Philadelphia and has now claimed a slew of victims in Seattle. Detectives Zeke Hobbs (Devon Sawa) and Jeanine Shaw (Jordana Brewster) are on the case. (It’s amusing that these folks sport these names as Gooding’s character in “Scream” (2022) referred to his “guns” as, “Hobbs & Shaw.”) Hopefully they crack it soon as HEK only preys upon couples (or those that get in their way) and they’ve just mistaken Ally and Jay for one.
“Heart Eyes” is directed by Josh Ruben (“Scare Me,” “Werewolves Within”) and scripted by “Freaky” co-writers Christopher Landon and Michael Kennedy and “Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard” co-writer Phillip Murphy.
I really liked “Scare Me” (my wife and I still frequently drop references to, “baby scabies”) and to a lesser extent “Werewolves Within,” but this is easily the best thing Ruben’s made to date. I was very glad to see him get this win as he and his wife Lauren Sick (she served as second unit director on the picture) just lost their home in the Eaton Fire (details here).
The script from Landon, Kennedy and Murphy is frequently funny, romantic, sharp, pop-culturally savvy, smart and sweet. Landon’s work here definitely made me wish he were still attached to direct “Scream 7,” even though it’s cool that franchise creator Kevin Williamson is getting his first stint helming an installment and Landon’s upcoming “Drop” looks dope.
Holt and Gooding (whom I like better and better each time I see him) make for a hugely appealing and attractive on-screen couple. It’s also a bit of nostalgic fun to have late 1990s/early aughts genre vets like Sawa and Brewster on hand.
“Heart Eyes” is the second new release of the weekend after “Love Hurts” to employ a straw as a weapon. It’d be fair to say it’s far from sucking.