The follow-up to 2010's "Machete" is a plodding, redundant nightmare of a movie with little flash and nothing memorable to note. While the original marked the first of the "Grindhouse" trailers to be made into a full-length picture, "Machete Kills" serves as a reminder that the resurgence of a retro genre can die out just as quickly as it was popularized.
As a sequel, "Machete Kills" all but abandons the quirky edge that made the trailer — and, to a lesser extent, the first movie — so much fun to watch. Instead, this highly unnecessary sequel painfully rehashes the same gags to the point where the viewer is being bludgeoned over the head with cliches. The film clocks in under two hours and yet about halfway through, I found myself looking at my watch waiting for the credits to roll.
The plot is a hackneyed mess involving Machete being enlisted by the president (Charlie Sheen) to bring down madman Mendez, a former Mexican cartel member who has a missile pointed at Washington. As the plot slowly unravels, it becomes clear Mendez is merely a decoy used to lure Machete into the clutches of a far more eccentric madman, millionaire arms manufacturer Luther Voz (Mel Gibson).
Needlessly thrown into the mix as well is a character simply referred to as La Chamaleón, a bounty hunter out to claim Machete's head as a trophy. As the name would suggest, La Chamaleón is one of many faces, being played by Cuba Gooding Jr., Lady Gaga and Antonio Banderas, respectively. In what stands to be the most interesting character in the entire movie, the role is all but squandered by the constant change of faces.
It would appear that many of the actors in "Machete Kills" are merely playing caricatures of themselves. Gibson is an eccentric madman, Gaga plays a character of endless faces and personalities and Sheen in the role of the womanizing president. Not to mention Danny Trejo was basically born into the role of Machete. Despite the deliberate characterization, the movie still lacks the definitive personality that made "Machete" a standout fake trailer to begin with.
At this point, it would appear Robert Rodriguez will be forced to abandon his ongoing love affair with '70s grindhouse pictures, at least for the sake of schlock enthusiasts everywhere. Simply put, "Machete Kills" is the proverbial nail in the coffin of this recent exploitation resurgence. At least we all have "Hobo with a Shotgun" upon which to look back fondly.