Malibu High (1979)
Disaffected high school senior Kim (Jill Lansing) has let her grades go to pot and is in danger of flunking out of school in this stumbling teen coming-of-age drama. Instead of buckling down, she decides to get more than her grades up, and starts sleeping with her male teachers.
Soon she goes pro, then slides into a sordid life of crime that sees her transition from prostitute to hit woman, quickly turning from a relatively good girl into a heartless killer of men.
The film shoehorns plot seemlingly as fast as the screenwriters can think it up, leading to plot being introduced by dialog, leading to more than one classic exchange between the increasingly wild Kim and her plain-jane, rejected housewife of a mother, like this one: "Don’t joke about Daddy! No wonder he couldn’t stand it here! You know, you could have looked decent once in a while instead of worrying about dirt and dust and greasy build-up! Then you wouldn’t have driven him away!”
The film’s midsection sheds the high-school setting, as Kim leaves home to become a ruthless contract killer, bumping off her former pimp and random others before fatally arousing her elderly, weak-hearted principal after he discovers her scheme. Before too long, though, she's returning, a cocky new attitude in hand, as she enacts her revenge on her boyfriend, who has dared to take a new girl.
The film starts off right, introducing its first bit of nudity 45 seconds in, and despite all evidence to the contrary, Lansing is portrayed as a distinct sex kitten (and by the way, if she's a high school student, then Luke Perry circa 1992 was a 7th grader). All of the film's abundant love scenes consist of Lansing making out with men and rolling around with them topless.
"Malibu High" features a soundtrack that would make Pac-Man wince. Synthesizers provide bleep-and-bloop transition effects between scenes, and most notably the a piece of music called “The Heist” paces the film’s climax, a dull chase scene on the beach. You might know "The Heist" as the theme to "The People's Court" (rumor has it "The Heist" was a public-domain piece of music that presumably was gotten on the cheap by both the producers of this film and Judge Wapner's boys).
Everything from the poofy, layered haircuts and tube-top tan lines for the girls, bushy sideburns and pencil mustaches for the boys screams 1970s in "Malibu High." A sequence at a dance showcases at least two solid minutes of pure, unadulterated disco fever.
This flick is more dated than Jennifer Lopez.
Three out of five Yaps