More Classics in High School!

This weekend Easy A comes to theatres. It combines the two things everybody loves: High school and The Scarlet Letter. Buzz from Toronto is suggesting this may actually be pretty good. So let’s just jump on this bandwagon early and start greenlighting more classic tales into modern times. I have a few pitches.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn aka High School Huck

Huck (Zac Efron) just wants to be like every other kid. He doesn’t care too much about school and class. He’s so tired of all the teachers trying to correct his grammar. Until one day he just gives up. He becomes truant from school and along with one of the janitors, Jim (Chris Tucker), they hang around downtown running into crazy characters. The trailer will have shots of Huck in drag dancing to Ke$ha, scenes of Tom Sawyer trying to find Huck through Facebook, and scenes of the Duke and the King (Steve Carell and Paul Rudd) trying to make a lucrative YouTube video.

Animal Farm aka Gimmie a P!

The head cheerleader of the squad gave some inspiring advice before graduating. All of the juniors spend summer break creating a new way to run the group. They devise rules like “All cheerleaders are created equal except for seniors” and “12 inches good, six inches better” in reference to their skirts. Power goes to their heads and their system starts to collapse. Not before they perform the coolest dance sequences ever seen on film. From the director of Step Up 3D.

Crime and Punishment aka Whoops!!!

Ronnie is just a bored student. One day he just gets fed up and puts a kid in a locker. (Don’t worry he lives!). For the rest of the school week, he stresses about his decision, the morality of mankind, and whether or not they are going to win the big football game. One of the guidance counselors is on his back the entire time and keeps trying to get him kicked off the team. It all comes together during the big football game (Springfield Criminals vs. the South Bend Punishers) where the truth will come out.

Robinson Crusoe aka Stranded in Study Hall

Robby is the new kid in school. He’s very excited to study to be a lawyer, but he is having trouble fitting in. He attributes all of his social problems by being in a study hall with no cool people in it. He feels totally alone. He ultimately befriends a guy with the nickname Friday. Robby teaches him all about the complexities of the show LOST. Together they face off against the other bullies of the study hall. Robby finds love and they are all able to transfer to a better study hall.

A Tale of Two Cities aka The Best of Times!

Sydney is a popular kid who is one of the more powerful members of the student government. He’s called upon to help out a guy named Charlie from being expelled. (They’re played by the twins from The Suite Life of Zach and Cody) They become best friends had form a romantic triangle while the principal of the school is becoming more unreasonable. Don’t worry because it’ll all end okay! Through a series of pranks, they fire the principal and they each end up with an attractive girl. It really is The Best of Times.

It probably goes without saying but all of these films will be in 3D.