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I tested positive for COVID-19 this morning, which definitely sucked. Sucking almost as badly is “Neon Lights” (now available on VOD).
I agreed to review “Neon Lights” due to the presence of veteran character actor Kim Coates, of whom I’m a fan. Whether playing hero (“Black Hawk Down”), heel (“The Last Boy Scout,” “Waterworld,” “Open Range”) or somewhere in-between (Coates’ best-known role as Alexander ‘Tig’ Trager on FX’s “Sons of Anarchy”), he’s always been a captivating on-screen presence. He enlivens “Neon Lights,” but it’s nowhere near enough to salvage this wreck.
Clay (Dana Abraham) is a tech CEO who bombs badly during an interview with reporter Anna Reid (Miss Universe Canada 2017 Lauren Howe). He bombs so badly in fact that he might lose his company.
Seeking refuge after this embarrassment, Clay rents a secluded, old mansion and invites his adopted brothers Benny (René Escobar Jr.) and James (Stephen Tracey) as well as Benny’s wife Clarissa (Brit MacRae) and daughter Blair (Erika Swayze) to join him for a reunion. Clay’s family seems to resent him for abandoning them in pursuit of success. Aiding Clay in his hosting duties is Denver (Coates), the men’s abusive adoptive father … or is he?
The flick flashes back and forth between action at the mansion and Clay taking part in therapy with Laila (Brenna Coates, Kim’s daughter). Strangely, Anna also turns up as one of Laila’s nurses.
It’s honestly hard to make heads or tails out what’s happening because elements are introduced in Abraham’s script (with story by director Rouzbeh Heydari and story editing by Nikolas Benn) and promptly discarded or contradicted. The movie is ostensibly called “Neon Lights” because the characters’ have different colored lights in each of their bedrooms. I’d assume these colors are supposed to be representative of these characters’ personalities, intentions, emotions, etc., but it’s never extrapolated upon.
The movie would be more palatable if the acting and casting were better. Abraham definitely makes some decisions tittering and whispering his way through the proceedings, which is annoying as all get-out. Swayze (20) isn’t believable as the child of Escobar (33) and MacRae (28). I mostly just bided my time waiting for the senior Coates’ return to imbue this ineptitude with something, anything of interest. (Admittedly, I did enjoy the piano-driven score by Josh Skerritt (no relation to Tom).)
“Neon Lights” is a horror flick in which kills largely take place off-screen or are shrouded in darkness … it’s a total rip-off. Also, between this and last week’s “Take the Night” (review here), I need a moratorium on movies using newspaper headlines to convey backstory and/or plot as 1.) Who the hell reads newspapers anymore? and 2.) Almost all of these papers look fake AF. The one here looks like an elementary or middle school project.
I fell asleep during my first watch of “Neon Lights” (Perhaps an early indicator of my illness? Perhaps an indicator of this film’s quality?), so I went back and watched it again. Having watched it one and a half times, I can attest it ain’t any good. The movie it most reminded me of is James Mangold’s 2003 offering “Identity” … only minus much of the artistry and amping up the inanity.
I fell asleep the first time too and blamed the lateness of the night but now that there’s two of us that can’t be a coincidence.