A cast consisting primarily of all porn stars? Check. A sinister penis on a killing spree? Check. Semen raining down on a town like snow? Check. Granted, I'm not digging too deep into the vault with this one (2008), but this movie certainly defines the Schlock Vault to a very tee. (Quadruple check.)
If any or all of those things interest you at all, there’s nothing not to love about "One-Eyed Monster." With a title so purposefully tongue-in-cheek, you'd also better be prepared for a horror porno because that's basically what this is. Check it out: You have the proverbial grandmother and grandfather of the adult entertainment world in Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart, young bucks such as Carmen Hart and Jason Graham and a serial-killing CGI male appendage tearing through the entire cast. The film is the Troma equivalent of a softcore.
"One-Eyed Monster" has a film-within-a-film plot, of which I, for one, am a fan. It takes place in a remote cabin up in the mountains where, surprise, a porno is being shot. After being shuttled to the shoot via a school bus, the cast settles into its temporary environment as they await the arrival of kingpin Ron Jeremy (playing himself). Upon his arrival, Ron is struck by a strange light from the night sky that incapacitates him. His penis eventually detaches itself from his body and goes on a rogue killing spree. And who said a sci-fi/horror porno could never work? If cabin fever and groupthink paranoia interest you as well, I suppose there's a little of that strewn about for good measure as well.
In fact, it reminded me a lot of Jonathon Yudis' "Pervert!", but not nearly as absurdly awesome, although both films feature a possessed serial-killing dong, a genre I really hope is starting to take off. It’s funny, it’s ridiculous, it doesn’t take itself too seriously. It’s pretty much exactly what I expected. Jeremy is surprisingly not a bad actor; I suppose appearing in hundreds and hundreds of films will eventually rub off on a guy (no pun intended). I would have preferred to actually see the killer penis in action, but unfortunately almost every kill scene happens off screen, and when the "killer" does make an appearance, it's a CGI amalgamation. It’s a minor complaint in the grand scheme of things about this good, but not great, indie horror flick that promises a semen- and blood-soaked good time for all. It's genuinely funny and certainly inane throughout. Call me a purist though, but I prefer a little more outright gore when it comes to my killer-dick movies. Gorehounds can't be choosers, though, I suppose.