Only Lovers Left Alive

Quite easily one of my favorite directors of all time, Jim Jarmusch is the tacit King of Cool. Having ridden the underground wave of all things hip for nearly four decades now, Jarmusch stands to be the indie standard against whom all others are measured.

When I heard he was doing his take on the vampire genre, I was frothing at the mouth in anticipation — the end result being a slow, brooding, offbeat romance that comes equipped with baggage. Jarmusch's predilection toward slowly paced melodramas is legendary, but "Only Lovers Left Alive" unexpectedly lures viewers into a listless trance. There's something whimsical behind the whole affair, but ultimately there's no means to an end.

The singularity of the plot is purposefully one-dimensional. Rock 'n' roll enthusiast and jaded recluse musician Adam (Tom Hiddleston) has inspired the careers of countless artists for centuries. Despite his profound influence, Adam remains despondent toward humanity and plots to commit suicide. Worried about her husband's wellbeing, Eve (Tilda Swinton) returns from Tangier to visit Adam in Detroit. The vampire couple lives off blood supplied to them via blood banks and basks in one another's company.

Their indulgent seclusion is soon interrupted by the arrival of Eve's younger sister, Ava (Mia Wasikowska). Ava's bratty and self-absorbed lifestyle grows weary on the couple as they plot their return back to Tangier. Upon finding their mentor dead from a batch of bad blood and experiencing withdrawals from their long journey, the couple resorts to feasting straight from the source.

Jarmusch's vision of the 21st-century vampire comes equipped with Ray-Bans and blood popsicles. They comically refer to humans as "zombies" and are, for the most part, docile. Stripped of their mythological constructs, Adam and Eve are rendered to banal human caricatures. Jarmusch's vampires appear more like the drug-addled rock stars they're inspired by than the devilishly handsome Draculas of old.

Although visually stunning with an original concept, "Only Lovers Left Alive" is too Jarmusch for its own good, which is to say it's all flash and no substance. I normally don't mind the snail's pace at which Jarmusch's movies unfold, but there was no reward to be had at the end. It's an interesting story with Oscar-worthy performances from both Swinton and Hiddleston, but nothing worth seeing more than once. At the same rate, Jarmusch is one of the most brilliant filmmakers in the game today and it's probably worth watching "Only Lovers Left Alive" based on his credibility alone.