Red Sonja
It's at least an improvement upon the awful '80s Conan spinoff -- a mix of Robert E. Howard's gory pulp, hifalutin LOTR inspiration and "Gladiator" dramatics. It's in theaters for one day Aug. 13.
I still look back with glowing sentimentality on my cinematic upbringing in the late 1970s and early ‘80s, when sword-and-sorcery films briefly had a gorgeous, gory heyday.
Rose-colored glasses? More like blood-spattered.
“Conan the Barbarian,” based on Robert E. Howard’s timeless pulp novels, more or less marked the high watermark — before things devolved into more family-friendly fare that felt liked all the blood had been sucked out of it. The wimpy “Conan the Destroyer” was lamentably tamer, even bearing the new PG-13 rating like a badge of dishonor.
Things got worse the next year with 1985’s “Red Sonja,” starring Brigitte Nielsen as a minor character from Howard’s oeuvre, a woman warrior standing as counterpoint to Arnold Scharzenegger’s. It bombed, and deserved to. Various filmmakers have been trying to get a remake off the ground for decades, including Robert Rodriguez and Bryan Singer.
It finally happened, and it’s hitting theaters for one day on Aug. 13 before becoming available on VOD streaming Aug. 29.
It ain’t terrible. Certainly it’s an improvement upon the 1985 original, though that isn’t exactly high praise. It’s also directed by a female filmmaker, M.J. Bassett (“Reacher”), with a screenplay by another woman, Tasha Huo, which allows for some puckish humor and observations about the innate sexism tied to the character.
Fret not: the infamous bikini armor does make its return. However, Sonja (German actress Matilda Lutz) loudly complains about how it protects absolutely nothing and exists merely for her to be leered at. (A prescient view, as it turns out.)
The new “Red Sonja” returns to R-rated territory, with plenty of carved-up flesh and arterial spurts, though I wouldn’t call it and out-and-out gorefest. It’s a lower-budget affair but has some decent special effects and CGI critters. Ardent fantasy fans will surely be pleased.
Conan/Sonja were the epitome of “low” fantasy — blood-soaked and lusty — of which Howard is pretty much the high priest, whereas J.R.R. Tolkien was his counterpart with “high” fantasy — elves, kings, dragons, etc. A good low fantasy flick should feel very much like playing a Dungeons & Dragons module.
The new “Red Sonja” is more a mix.
While its focus is still on swordplay, there’s a hifalutin tone with eagle-eye tracking shots of mountains and forests complete with dreamy choral music that could’ve come straight out of the “Lord of the Rings” movies. Heck, at one point a character shows up with an outfit and jewel necklace that was probably stolen from Galadriel’s dressing room.
There’s also a healthy bit of lifting from “Gladiator,” as early on Sonja is captured by the forces of the evil Emperor Dragan and made to fight in his arenas. There’s the usual story arc there, Spartacus-type stuff, where she is first alienated from the other gladiators but eventually wins their respect and comes to lead them in an uprising against the emperor.
Like Conan, she was orphaned as a child when her village was wiped out by barbarians, and spent her girlhood growing up in the Hyrkanian forest, which most outsiders think is haunted by jealous spirits. Sonja is more wood nymph than warrior as the story opens, zipping around on her horse/best friend, praying to goddess statues and yearning to one day discover if any of her tribe still survive.
Dragan is a very 2025 sort of fantasy movie villain. Played by Robert Sheehan (“The Umbrella Academy”), he’s a smart, scrawny twerp who has come to control most of the world through technological advancements, such as artillery, that seem like magic to the medieval folk. He’s also very emo and angsty, the modern-day equivalent of a tech bro billionaire who sees everyone as subject to his whims.
His right-hand woman is Annisia (Wallis Day), a silver-tressed killer who fought her way out of the gladiator pits to become the emperor’s consort. She’s haunted by voices whispering inside her head — supposedly the souls of the countless hordes she’s murdered — and is clearly being set up for a battlefield face-off with Sonja.
Day is an arresting presence and quite convincing in her fighting scenes. Honestly, the thought occurred if she might have been a stronger choice for the title role.
Another baddie is General Karlak (Martyn Ford), leader of Dragan’s armies, who’s a member of what appears to be a human/baboon race. There’s also a couple of background characters who appear to be orcs or orc-adjacent.
Sonja finds some allies among her fellow gladiators, including the stoic Hawk (Michael Bisping), friendly blond Daix (Ben Radcliffe), suspicious Petra (Rhona Mitra) and Ossin (Luca Pasqualino), who claims to be a deposed prince and calls himself “The Untouched,” owing to never having been wounded in the arena.
There’s some cockamamie plot about a “book of secrets” with all sorts of forbidden knowledge, half of which Dragan possesses and the other half he thinks is still hidden in the forest along with the remnants of Sonja’s people. It’s a classic movie MacGuffin, and in the fantasy setting could just as well have been a magic goblet or cursed gem.
Lutz makes a nice showing as Sonja, and certainly seems adept at all the swordfighting — though she actually prefers wielding a bow and two daggers. I daresay Sonja’s RPG class would be closer to Subotai the archer/thief than Conan the brawler.
This version of Red Sonja is an aspirational do-gooder rather than a vengeful gut-ripper. I’m not sure if we truly needed another version of the character. But it’s a fun and energetic reboot that could maybe lead to some ongoing adventures.