Road House
Pain mostly doesn't hurt in this reimagining that ain't your daddy's "Road House."
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I’m a great admirer of Rowdy Herrington’s 1989 trashterpiece “Road House.” This wasn’t always the case. I had a buddy back in college who often extolled the virtues of this Patrick Swayze vehicle. Ignorantly, I called him a hick (sorry, Adam) and told him “Point Break” was better. Then I revisited the flick with my patient pal and he was correct … “Road House” rules! No one wears underwear or uses protection despite this being the heyday of AIDS, monster trucks, throat rips, stuffed polar bears being shoved atop tubby toughs … what else could you possibly want?!!! This is where I learned that, “Pain don’t hurt.”
Director Doug Liman – who cut his teeth on indie darlings “Swingers” and “Go” prior to segueing into big-budget action filmmaking with “The Bourne Identity” and “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” – has opted to remake “Road House” (it begins streaming … much to Liman’s consternation (read more about his feelings here) on Amazon Prime Video beginning Thursday, March 21) and he brought acclaimed actor Jake Gyllenhaal along for the ride.
Elwood Dalton (Gyllenhaal) is an ex-UFC fighter who was kicked out of the sport after killing his friend in The Octagon. He’s fallen on hard times following the ousting hustling scratch here and there and having suicidal ideations.
Opportunity knocks when Frankie (Jessica Williams) offers Dalton a job working as a bouncer at her Florida Keys road house creatively called The Road House. He reluctantly accepts her proposal.
Dalton quickly ingratiates himself into the Glass Key community teaching his protégé Billy (Lukas Gage) how to fight, befriending spunky teenage girl Charlie (a very likable Hannah Lanier) and her bookstore owner father Stephen (Kevin Carroll) and romancing local doctor Ellie (Daniela Melchior).
Not everyone is quite so welcoming. Criminal land developer Ben Brandt (a wonderfully smarmy Billy Magnussen) has his sights set on The Road House and wants Dalton ran out of town. Aiding him in his pursuits are Brandt’s imprisoned Dad’s hired hand Knox (real-life UFC fighter Conor McGregor), a biker gang (played by the likes of Arturo Castro, Catfish Jean and JD Pardo), a few flunkies (Beau Knapp, Darren Barnet) and a crooked cop who self-referentially calls himself Big Dick (Joaquim de Almeida).
Liman’s movie – co-written by Anthony Bagarozzi (he co-wrote “The Nice Guys” alongside Shane Black) and newbie Charles Mondry – ain’t your daddy’s “Road House.” There isn’t a Wade Garrett (Sam Elliott) mentor figure anywhere in sight. It’s not a hillbilly hullabaloo and is made more so for the hipster hoi polloi. Switching the setting from fictional Jasper, Mo. for the Florida Keys proves to be an astute move and provides the proceedings with a particularly cool vibe. (This Dalton lives on a houseboat (creatively called The Boat) like he’s Sonny f*ckin’ Crockett!) The film’s first half, which recalls Liman’s indie roots, is far more fun than its bloated back end.
Gyllenhaal, who admirably seems to have made the movie partly in tribute to his late “Donnie Darko” co-star Swayze, is the best reason to check out this iteration of “Road House.” He looks great (his abs deserve their own credit) and acts just as well. (No big surprise – Gyllenhaal is one of our most consistent working actors aside from a few minor performative hiccups, i.e. “Okja” and “Velvet Buzzsaw.”) His Dalton is polite (almost excessively so) until it’s time not to be polite – equal parts funny and fierce. Gyllenhaal is strongly supported by Magnussen and especially Castro, whose Moe hilariously wants to befriend Dalton despite being terrified of him. Melchior is fine, but her character is gravely in need of further fleshing out.
On the opposite end of the qualitative continuum from Gyllenhaal is McGregor. His Knox is hugely annoying and comes across like a demented leprechaun. He makes Ronda Rousey look like Meryl Streep by comparison. I’ll say this for him … as an actor he’s a really great fighter. (Another ding against the flick – some of the CG is almost as bad as McGregor’s woeful performance.)
I applaud Liman, Bagarozzi, Mondry and Gyllenhaal for doing something different with the material while also adhering to many of the original text’s tenets. That said – I’m really glad “Road House” (1989) is still readily available. It’s effortlessly a modern Western without constantly telling us it’s one.