Those following the news about this film over the past year are probably aware of the "controversy" surrounding it. Essentially, the internet had a meltdown when the original trailer released and featured a horrifying, quasi-realistic version of the beloved blue hedgehog. In response, so as to save their film at the box office, Paramount put the film's visual effects artists to work to redesigning the CGI character to more closely resemble the character from his original video games and cartoons. Months later, the trailer returned, now with the more faithful version of the character you see above.
Let's check one thing at the door: the fact that a major studio responded to universal mockery from social media by making the character look more like the source material does not make the film better on its own, or even more admirable as a public phenomenon. It was a smart decision on Paramount's part, sure — they likely saved themselves some damage at the box office — but it was purely a business decision. And let's not pretend like the character design was the only thing everyone hated about the original trailer.
I say that simply because of the wave of hype and support that has come to surround the film over the last several months. The argument that the film has "redeemed itself" before it even released, purely because Paramount ordered a VFX redo, is all over the internet.
Well, as it turns out, patched VFX work doesn't account for bland writing, hackneyed plotting, and zero individuality throughout the rest of the film. Surprise!
The film adapts the character from the iconic video game franchise, but its story is mostly an original invention. Sonic (voiced enthusiastically by Ben Schwartz) is a hedgehog with super speed who lives on a far-off world. He's on the run, actually, because everywhere he goes, people want his powers. Sonic is given a bag of gold rings — a reference to the collectibles from the original video games, but with an odd twist — that allow him to open up glowing portals across space instantly travel to any destination he chooses, Doctor Strange-style.
Sonic chooses a small town on Earth as his place of refuge, which goes swimmingly until he accidentally sets off an EMP by running too fast, alerting both the US government and the local sheriff (James Marsden) to his existence. Sheriff Wachowski, a man looking for a way out of this sleepy town and to the big city of San Francisco, reluctantly offers to help keep Sonic safe when the government's mad-scientist attack dog, Dr. Robotnik (Jim Carrey), comes looking for him.
Sonic suffers from a common problem with film adaptations of video games and other pop culture properties: it feels a need to insert this absurd, cartoonish character into our very ordinary world, even when the original property had nothing to do with our world. It's a way of easily fabricating conflict, but as a result, the plot then becomes a regurgitated fish-out-of-water tale that could be applied to any number of characters and ultimately has very little to do with the character himself.
The opening of the film features a gorgeously rendered CGI recreation of Sonic's world, clearly inspired by the levels of the early Sonic the Hedgehog games; the rest of the film made me wish for an animated feature, the entire thing taking place in that fantasy world, where the absurd is commonplace.
Ben Schwartz is admittedly a pretty great fit for the character. He just sounds right: he's upbeat, innocent, and more than a little bit hyperactive. And yes, the new-and-improved character design at least serves to not distract or traumatize you while you watch. But Sonic himself still becomes abrasive and incessant over the course of the first half, thanks almost entirely to the cheap script by Patrick Casey and Josh Miller.
Unfortunately, Sonic's mannerisms are about the only endearing part of the film. Marsden looks like maybe he's trying to have fun as Sheriff Wachowski, and his idiot cop buddy Billy is given a little bit of life by an aloof Adam Pally. Wachowski's wife, Maddie (Tika Sumpter) is inserted into the action about halfway through, and naturally reacts with disbelief and confusion to Sonic, which really only serves to tediously repeat the "what even are you?" dynamic that Wachowski had already undergone with him by the time Maddie gets dragged into it.
Jim Carrey is back to his pre-existential-crisis shenanigans, hamming up a storm as the eccentric and narcissistic Dr. Robotnik. It's charming in moments, but largely grating; it feels as if director Jeff Fowler just said, "Okay, Jim, do your thing," and let the cameras roll. Carrey is as energetic as ever, but it's mostly aimless, like a child wantonly making loud and bizarre noises so as to remain the center of attention. He's having fun, but I can't say he really helped my headache.
Sonic falls into what is maybe my least favorite category of bad movie: it's a bland distillation of plot and dialogue tropes, overused jokes, familiar encounters and interactions, with no flavor or flair of its own. A film that brings nothing to the table. It's no exaggeration to say that every scene, every moment — hell, practically every second — is stiffly aped from hundreds, if not thousands, of other, much more entertaining movies. It's a facsimile of a real movie. I was reminded of The Emoji Movie.
It's maybe the most culturally worthless kind of film out there, and a total waste of a licensed property. It gets a couple points for Schwartz' fun voice work, Marsden's attempt at enjoying himself, and the occasional moments when Carrey's shotgun-blast approach to humor hit the target. But largely, Sonic the Hedgehog is an utterly forgettable, painfully lazy studio formulation masquerading as a movie.
Oh, and it literally opens with: *record scratch* *freeze frame* "I bet you're wondering how I got myself in this situation. Let's back it up." *rewind noises*
And it does not go up from there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szby7ZHLnkA&w=585