Spaceman

The Sandman crash lands with "Spaceman."

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I’ve always liked Adam Sandler despite not always digging the films in which he appears. I’ve especially enjoyed when The Sandman has opted to go serious. I adore “Punch-Drunk Love,” “Reign Over Me,” “Funny People,” “Uncut Gems” and “Hustle.” His work in “Spanglish” is also notable, but I was unable to fully embrace the flick as Téa Leoni’s character is such an insufferable bitch in it.

Sandler’s newest dramatic offering “Spaceman” (now streaming on Netflix) is directed by acclaimed “Chernobyl” helmer Johan Renck. Despite its pedigree the movie didn’t really work for me.

Sandler stars as Czech astronaut Jakub Prochazka who’s on a solo mission to the furthest reaches of space despite his wife Lenka (Carey Mulligan) being pregnant back on Earth. Lenka’s grown disillusioned with she and Jakub’s relationship as he prioritizes work over her and their child … so much so that she has intentions of leaving him.

Czech space official Commissioner Tuma (Isabella Rossellini) intercepts Lenka’s break-up video communiqué in hopes of protecting Jakub and ensuring he completes his mission. Jakub’s primary human contact comes through exchanges with his mission control handler Peter (Kunal Nayyar, worlds away from his role as Raj Koothrappali on “The Big Bang Theory”).

Another voice soon enters Jakub’s sphere. It belongs to Hanus (voiced by Paul Dano), a talking alien space spider who’s around to show the astronaut the error of his ways.

“Spaceman” feels like Renck and screenwriter Colby Day (adapting Jaroslav Kalfar’s book “Spaceman of Bohemia”) took “Solaris” (Steven Soderbergh’s – I haven’t seen Andrei Tarkovsky’s) and Denis Villeneuve’s “Enemy” carelessly chucked ‘em in a blender and hit puree. If you’re looking for a sci-fi mélange this weekend opt for the spicier option of Villeneuve’s “Dune: Part Two.”

“Spaceman” sports good performances wrapped up in a poorly written, conceived and directed movie. It almost plays as parody. I admired the acting of Sandler and Mulligan despite neither of them seeming the slightest bit Czech. It sorta seems like Sandler is saying, “No Oscar nom for ‘Uncut Gems?’ Here you go! Here’s some clichéd, heart-tugging bullshit for ya!” Mulligan plays yet another put upon woman dealing with an emotionally unavailable man and she does so consistently well. Nayyar acquits himself admirably playing things straight and Dano’s vocal performance convincingly oscillates between soothing and threatening without ever changing register.

(I would’ve much rather watched an “Alf”-style sitcom where Jakub returns to Earth with Hanus in tow to hang with Lenka and their kid. The space spider could even attempt to eat the family’s cat. Genius!)

“Spaceman” sat on the shelf for three years and I can clearly see why. It grasps for profundity and settles on pretension. My heart wasn’t warmed … I was mostly just bored. This one belongs jettisoned in the Netflix ether.