SPOILER REVIEW: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS. IF YOU DON'T WANT "STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" SPOILED, DO NOT READ THIS BEFORE YOU SEE THE FILM.

I'm still trying to process "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker." I'm pretty sure I don't HATE it, but I also don't love it as much as I feel like I should.

The film overall was solid but unspectacular. The battle scenes were mostly unmemorable, with JJ Abrams seeming to be focused on bigger and better rather than more emotional.

The "Planet Killer" Star Destroyers feel a little too fan fic for my taste, and having hundreds of them lined up and ready for battle without anyone really noticing also feels a little amateurish. In fact, the whole "Final Order" thing smacks of World War II, which is fine if not a little on the nose, and his images of Star Destroyers lined up like planes in a Nazi propaganda poster hammer it in.

The film doesn't feel as boldly audacious as "The Last Jedi," nor is it quite as nostalgic as "The Force Awakens." It feels almost like a mash of those two films, one that wants to both celebrate the franchise's greatness and do something different, and never really fully succeeds at either.

There is also no cool secondary bad guy now that Captain Phasma is gone, and with the evolution of Kylo Ren in this film it would have been nice to have a new wow-worthy bad guy to be a threat, if nothing else than to give Rey, Finn, and Poe someone to fight face to face.

The idea that Rey could be lured to the Dark Side is pretty tantalizing, and this film even flirts briefly with a full-on turn. But it's done in such a cursory way that there isn't really much tension to it. JJ Abrams makes this Rey's central choice in the climax, and there's never really much doubt or tension to it.

In fact, the whole central conflict--and main antagonist--feels tacked on here. Adding Emperor Palpatine with little prior fanfare just feels forced. There was little setup for Palpatine being the puppetmaster behind the First Order in previous films, and the revelation then that Rey is in fact a Palpatine is obvious given this setup. He pops up here in the opening scene with no explanation as to how he survived his "Return of the Jedi" plunge, how he was the puppet master (outside of some hints that he made Snoke as a clone), or really why he would kill his own son (or how he even had a son of that age, which is kind of an odd development that the entire franchise hasn't really approached as an idea).

Clearly, Rian Johnson's "your parents aren't important" is the one bit J.J. Abrams needed to undo for this film to work, and he is able to excuse it in a line of dialog from Kylo Ren to Rey in this film. But her real parentage kind of comes of as silly given the setup.

And while we're talking about "The Last Jedi," let's give Abrams kudos (more or less) for not succumbing to the pressure to undo everything. I'm well aware that many of you were less than excited about TLJ, though I thought it was fantastic on so many levels. It did things no other Star Wars film has, and dared to subvert expectations and be different, which is something "Rise" tried somewhat hamfistedly to do.

Some other points that I want to make: Kylo Ren's character arc became much more interesting in this film, and his carryover from TLJ, though the resolution--and his death--again feels more made-for-TV than real. How fun would it have been to have him be right, and have him rule the galaxy with Rey as benevolent leaders who look to finally re-establish the Jedi themselves?

But perhaps Abrams made the right decision--after all, how does Kylo Ren go from murderous teen (and a true representation of what Anakin Skywalker SHOULD have been in the prequels) to a good and just ruler? And his parallels to Darth Vader in death do bring a complete circle to his character, complete with redemption just before death.

And let me just say unequivocally, that the Chewbacca "death" was some BULLSHIT, meant to exist just to manipulate the viewer.

And also let me add that, for me, the most emotional moment of the film was Chewie's reaction to learning Leia had died. Her death scene was a little rushed, but the moment he finds out is totally heartbreaking and a perfect coda.

The Lando/Jannah scene was similarly bullshit, with a silly, pandering tease at a new film for a character who we hardly even met. The idea that maybe she's his daughter is WAAAY too on the nose and silly, where everyone in the galaxy already seems to be secretly related to each other.

And as fun as it was to see Lando again, the scene of him in the Falcon's cockpit was a blast, though it was far too short and needed more time to flesh out.

Now let's get to the "new" characters. Rey, Finn, and Poe as a trio were pretty stellar, and seeing Poe and Rey bickering managed to both be a tribute to Han/Leia and felt fresh, with Finn stuck in the middle to referee.

But the film dragged a bit when they were looking for the Maguffin, which they spent a lot of time doing in getting to the Emperor arc. There's some vague story about a Jedi hunter, which sounds like a cool story. Maybe they're going to feature it in a future film.

There's more, of course: Luke's role in the whole affair, and a slew of deux ex machina moments where, on the brink of defeat, heretofore unseen help arrives just in time. But these discussions are maybe meant for another post, or another time.

What are your thoughts on "The Rise of Skywalker?"