Here at the Schlock Vault, we don’t actually have a Hall of Fame for flicks, but after watching “ThanksKilling” in honor of Thanksgiving week, it’s something we might consider. Take everything you know about the genre and this film essentially has it and more.
While it might not knock “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” off its Thanksgiving pedestal, “ThanksKilling” might just surprise you with how intentionally funny it is
The movie screams schlock from the word go as we see a half naked pilgrim woman running away from an unseen stalker. The pilgrim isn’t played by just any plain Jane, the crew actually got porn star Wanda Lust to open the flick for them. From there, it only gets better.
Before the beginning credits role we see the assailant to be a homicidal turkey, which curses like a sailor and zings so many one-liners you find yourself busting a gut with laughter. They might not be appropriate or exactly politically correct, but they’re downright funny.
Flash forward to present day and a group of “students” are headed home for the holiday. Along the way, their Jeep breaks down and of course instead of calling AAA or a parent to rescue them from their situation, they decide to use the camping equipment they conveniently brought to spend the night in the great outdoors.
That’s when Darren (Ryan E. Francis), a Carl from Sling Blade look-a-like, tells them the story of the killer turkey. All the while a dog takes a piss on the grave of the turkey and wakes him from his slumber. We also learn through Darren’s tale, the turkey will kill the first human’s he sees, which just so happens to be the students.
As he begins picking them off one by one, the gobbler continues to throw one liners around, rapes one of the students, Ali (Natasha Cordova, and in the end is thrown into a trash receptacle, which turns out the be radioactive and lord knows we all have one of those lurking in our backyards?
In the end, Kristen (Lindsey Anderson) uses an aerosol can and a lighter to cook the turkey, but not before a radioactive trash bin breathes new life into his feathers and he’s able to take one more of them out before his ultimate demise. Or is it?
What’s so wonderful about this film is from start to finish it knows its place, throws it in your face and instead of trying to win you over with blood and gore alone, they go for over-the-top laughs as well.
The turkey puppet looks cheap, the dialogue sucks, the acting is ghastly, but when you’re going for pure schlock value you couldn’t ask for anything more. Surprising the only thing lacking was the students indulging in intoxicating endeavors, but that’s only a minor qualm.
The film was reportedly made for less than $3,500 and took just 11 days to shoot. “ThanksKilling” also has a running time of less than 85 minutes, so it doesn’t overstay its welcome and gets the hell out of dodge, but not before the turkey leaves us with “Do I smell sequel, beyotch!” with a titles card that reads ‘To be continued in space…’.
The one scene you’ll need to keep an eye out for, not like you would miss it, is when the kids return to Kristen’s house and are greeted at the door by the turkey disguised as her father. I actually had to pause the movie I was laughing so hard. Awesome stuff.
How many times have you wanted to learn more about a film, go to its official website to find a few links, a trailer and nothing more? That’s not the case with “ThanksKilling”. For an ultra-low budget, it has one of the best websites I’ve seen for a flick. It has info about every aspect of the film and should be the yardstick by which all official movie sites are measured.
Schlock Verdict: When I dialed this up on Netflix I really wasn’t expecting much. I thought it would be an easily forgettable indie that has a few things going for it, but nothing major. “ThanksKilling” has tons of blood, some nudity, a slew of hilarious one-liners, but most of all the Schlock Vault seal of approval. If you’re a fan of Schlock, you’ve got to check this out. Gobble, gobble motherf*$&ers!
5 out of 5 Yaps