The Astro Zombies (1968)

It’s always a bummer when you enter into something only to find you’ve been bamboozled. When I see a title like “The Astro Zombies," I tend to get a little excited. But this movie turned out to be such a snore-fest, it was all I could do to finish it.

The breakdown of the plot is a disgruntled mad scientist — betcha didn’t see that coming! — Dr. DeMarco (John Carradine) begins creating radio-controlled zombies from body parts of murdered victims. And in true Frankenstein-ish fashion, his creations get loose and begin killing on their own. And that, my fellow Schlockians, is all you need to know.

It’s unfortunate because I had some high hopes for this film. I’m a huge fan of sci-fi and Schlock, so it seemed like a match made in heaven, but “The Astro Zombies," with a run time of 91 minutes, seemed to amble on forever with no destination in mind. The film begins and ends with toy robots going here and there, bumping into each other and some falling down. The scenes turned out to mirror the script itself.

Also, being a fan of Schlock cinema, I love me some bad props and makeup. You do get that here. When you first encounter the astro zombie in all his rubber mask glory, it’s kind of a warm feeling. You can even see the slit in the back of the mask.

While reflecting on the film, I keep returning to how long it felt. I seriously expected to find more than two hours of my day lost, so when I discovered it was slightly over 90 minutes, I was completely surprised. The zero sense of direction really hampers a film that I believe could have been a worthy addition of Schlock cinema.

The film inspired two sequels — “Mark of the Astro Zombies” and “Astro Zombies M3: Cloned." You never know: The Schlock Vault might revisit the "Zombies" franchise later down the road. But for this traveler, he needs a little time to recover from his first journey.

The film stars cult actress Tura Satana, who recently passed away, and was the final film in Wendell Corey’s long career. It also features Carradine, father of David and Keith Carradine, whose career spanned both television and the big screen for 60 years.

“The Astro Zombies” has earned its place in cult circles, but for me it doesn’t have enough of the essentials to merit serious discussion. I do commend writer/director Ted V. Mikels for his robot beginning and ending. Absolutely hilarious and puzzling at the same time.

1.5 Yaps