The Marvel Movies: Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Note: This column begins The Film Yap's series looking at the entire lexicon of movies based on Marvel Comics characters. We will examine all of the theatrical, live-action versions of these films (not counting TV movies, but counting films that were made and not released or released only on home video).

It could be argued that this first film in the Merry Marvel movie list isn't a Marvel movie at all. To be certain, Robert E. Howard's "Conan" books came out years before the Marvel Comics counterparts, and the film is most likely based on those books more than the actual comics, but Conan was a Marvel Comics property beginning in 1970, and that character was not changed drastically from the originals, making this film eligible.

This classic swords-and-sandals epic begins with Conan's (Arnold Schwarzenegger in the role that made him a star) origin story, where his village is looted by the evil sorcerer Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones, sporting a wicked long wig with the bangs cut off). His parents are killed, including his mother, whom Doom beheads in front of the young Conan.

The young Conan is left alive but imprisoned, his years of incessant labor making him physically strong, and he quickly becomes a champion in death matches and is trained as a warrior. He is set free, and soon comes across the path of a seductive vixen with whom Conan mates. She reveals herself mid-coitus to be a monster, and Conan throws her into a fire and goes on with his life.

Later he crosses paths with the thief and archer Rexor (Ben Davidson), and the fair Valeria (Sandahl Bergman, who we'll meet again as a villain opposite Schwarzenegger in "Red Sonja"), and they accompany Conan on his quest.

Later they meet King Osric (Max Von Sydow), whom has also had unfortunate dealings with Doom--he claimed Osric's daughter as his wife. Osric charges Conan and his friends with rescuing his daughter, promising them riches enough to be kings in their own right, leading to the final showdown between Conan and Doom.

Director/co-writer John Milius (along with co-writer Oliver Stone) crafted a primal, violent, sexual film (apparently Conan does two things well, and both begin with the letter "f"), yet is driven by its characters' arcs, not just by connecting the dots from one fight sequence to the next, as with subsequent offerings. Conan is a hero with a destiny, and we root for him to get there, not simply to fight the next monster that might leap into his path.

The effects are hardly great by today's standards, but neither are they distractingly bad. The swordplay is smooth enough, though there is surprisingly little of it. This is as contemplative a film as one of its type can be.

It's a bit rough around the edges, with a lot of moments that were cliched even in '82, but it still packs a punch. And none of should lead you to believe "Conan" isn't full of blood spray and dismemberment, because there's some of that too. It's just so much more, and remains one of Schwarzenegger's best films.

Next Time: Arnold picks up the sword again.