The Old Guard 2
Five years-in-the-making fantasy-action sequel pretty much serves as placeholder.
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I was a huge fan of Gina Prince-Blythewood’s 2020 Netflix offering “The Old Guard” (my review here) and looked forward to its “creatively”-titled sequel “The Old Guard 2” (to quote Saul Rubinek’s Joel Silver-esque character from “True Romance” – “I have more taste in my penis.”).
The newest installment – now directed by Victoria Mahoney (she made the feature “Yelling to the Sky” 14 years ago before becoming a busy TV director and J.J. Abrams’ second unit director on “Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker”) – isn’t a bad movie, but it’s a disappointing one.
To even call it a fully fleshed-out film is a bit of an exaggeration as it plays more like an hour and 45 minute teaser for “The Old Guard 3.” (I was reminded a tad of the conclusion of Troy Duffy’s cruddy “The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day” and still wanna see those brothers kill crooks in the clink.)
We open on a now-mortal Andy (Charlize Theron, looking like she’s cosplaying as Chrissie Hynde or Joan Jett) and her team comprised of Nile (KiKi Layne), lovers Joe (Marwan Kenzari) and Nicky (Luca Marinelli) and pursuer-turned-pal Copley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) as they’re running a bust on Italian gunrunner Konrad (Slavko Sobin).
Turns out Konrad’s selling weapons on behalf of the original immortal Discord (Uma Thurman – is her character a chat app or a villain?). Discord’s got irons in a lot of fires having resurrected Quynh (Veronica Ngô), Andy’s former friend and possible lover, from a watery grave in which she’s suffered for centuries. Quynh (pronounced “Quinn”) has an axe to grind with Andy for not saving her and with humanity as a whole for damning her to the drink. Discord’s more than happy to facilitate Quynh’s revenge.
Further complicating matters is the fact that Joe’s been in contact with the exiled Booker (Matthias Schoenaerts), which causes drama between he and Nicky. Illuminating all angles to Andy and company is learned immortal Tuah (Henry Golding). (First name Hawk, last name Tuah?)
Having seen Prince-Blythewood’s subsequent “The Woman Queen,” I suspect a lot of the strongest elements of the first installment came from her. Graphic novelist Greg Rucka returns to adapt his material alongside Aussie TV writer Sarah L. Walker (her fingerprints are on “All Saints,” “Home and Away” and “Neighbours”). The script isn’t nearly as good as its predecessor giving the actors far fewer grace notes to play. Kenzari’s Joe gave a beautiful monologue concerning his feelings for Nicky in “The Old Guard” and Marinelli gets a similar opportunity to reciprocate here, but the words don’t resonate nearly as deeply.
The action as captured and presented by Mahoney and her crew (among them cinematographer Barry Ackroyd, editor Matthew Schmidt, supervising sound editor Erik Aadahl, second unit director Dan Bradley, stunt coordinators Elitsa Razheva and Brian Simpson, fight coordinator Georgi Manchev and legions of stuntpeople) is generally cool, but that’s pretty much all there is.
Sure, it’s fun to see Thurman with a sword in her hand again, but it’s largely just a tease for the next movie. Theron and Ejiofor are world-class actors – give them more interesting notes to play! Performance-wise I’d argue Schoenaerts fares best, but he’s given the most to work with.
“The Old Guard 2” is 20 minutes shorter than its predecessor and should’ve been extended to be more substantive. Here’s hoping we don’t have to wait five more years to get this placeholder paid off. Netflix’s people should also call Prince-Blythewood’s people and pull up a Brinks truck if necessary.