The Satanic Rites of Dracula

Elvira, princess of the macabre, has returned to elevate B movies to an A and she’s bringing along her best assets. Unfortunately, she chose Christopher Lee’s final Dracula portrayal, “The Satanic Rites of Dracula.” Elvira herself knows how bad this movie is and she isn’t afraid to let everyone know her opinion. While it looks like a B, it is definitely a C-.

“The Satanic Rites of Dracula” is the return of Christopher Lee as the Prince of Darkness. Van Helsing has found out that Dracula has returned and is up to his old tricks. As Van Helsing digs deeper into Dracula’s scheme, he comes to realize that the repercussions of this plan may affect the entire world. The question becomes whether or not Van Helsing will be able to stop Dracula once and for all or if Dracula will succeed in his plans.

“The Satanic Rites of Dracula” is by far one of the worst movies that I have ever seen but has an ending that almost completely makes up for the hour viewers have to sit through during which nothing happens. It would be like watching “Jurassic Park” and not seeing a single dinosaur until about a half-hour before the movie ends. When Dracula does finally show up, it is in a scene that is so bad it’s good. Van Helsing walks into an office with a shadowed figure sitting at a desk. Under the impression that this man is the head of a corporation, Van Helsing fires question after question until he realizes the man’s identity. He quickly turns a small desk lamp to reveal the head of the corporation is … bum, bum, buumm, DRACULA!

The best scene is the ending, so beware of SPOILERS. Granted, this movie is extremely old and I can’t say that I would recommend it but you've been warned nonetheless. At the end of the movie, Van Helsing is chasing Dracula through the woods. When Dracula lunges at Van Helsing through a thick thorn bush he becomes entangled. He breaks through but falls to the ground entangled and is then staked by Van Helsing. After constant battles with Van Helsing and always coming back, Dracula is defeated by a thorn bush.

Besides the ending, Elvira is one of the saving graces for this movie. While a few of her jokes are corny, there are some head-slapping moments that put a smile on my face. After returning from one of the breaks in the film, Elvira talks about how horrible the movie is and how, to pass the time, she decided to catch up on her bills. When she puts bills in an envelope, she talks about how the collectors are costing her an arm and a leg. She lifts up a giant envelope with an arm and a leg hanging out. It’s a very wah-wah moment, but it definitely sticks out against the movie itself.

Elvira has the complexion of Scary Terry and the wit of Mystery Science Theatre. She hasn’t seemed to have lost her touch. If you’re a fan of Elvira or horrible horror movies, then you’ll love this.

The disc is busting with special features. There is a behind-the-scenes, a music video by Ghoultown, sneak previews and many more.

Film:2.5 Yaps

Extras:: 3 Yaps