The Strangers: Chapter 1

Trilogy kickoff is thin and can't attain a win.

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I’m a Renny Harlin apologist.

This Finnish filmmaker made some of the funnest blockbuster entertainments of the 1990s among them “Die Hard 2,” “Cliffhanger,” “The Long Kiss Goodnight” and “Deep Blue Sea.”

He also helmed a movie (“Cutthroat Island”) that killed a studio (Carolco) … but I’m the weirdo who enjoys Harlin’s much-maligned pirate flick.

As time went on Harlin’s output got worse and worse. Remember “Driven,” “Mindhunters,” “The Covenant,” “12 Rounds” (I actually proposed to my wife while this played in the background of our Tampa, Fla. hotel room) or “The Legend of Hercules”? Neither does anyone else!  Harlin managed to show signs of life earlier this year with the disposably fun Aaron Eckhart vehicle “The Bricklayer,” which is now streaming on Netflix.

“The Strangers” as a series has been a bit of a mixed bag for me. Bryan Bertino’s 2008 original was a tad too dark and dour for my tastes, though it is sorta memorable as Dennis (Glenn Howerton) from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” gets his face blown off with a shotgun. Johannes Roberts’ 2018 sequel was an improvement IMHO as it sports an awesome, neon-lit, swimming pool-set murder scene set to Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

I don’t know why the pairing of a tired director and a tired franchise appealed to me, but it did. (I suspect an effective trailer featuring Cage the Elephant’s “Trouble” might’ve had something to do with it.) “The Strangers: Chapter 1” (now in theaters) is the first of a trilogy filmed back-to-back-to-back in Bratislava, Slovakia all of which were helmed by Harlin.

Maya (Madelaine Petsch, “Riverdale”) and Ryan (Froy Gutierrez, “Hocus Pocus 2”) are a yuppie couple traveling through rural Oregon to a prospective job opportunity for her in Portland. They stop for a bite to eat at the local greasy spoon where they meet friendly-enough waitress Shelly (Ema Horvath). Once the couple finishes their meal and returns to their SUV it won’t start. Townie mechanics offer to fix the vehicle for them, which Maya graciously accepts. Ryan suspects the mechanics meddled with their ride and are the very reason it now needs fixed. Shelly sets Maya and Ryan up with an Airbnb in the woods. You know where this goes from here.

Is “The Strangers: Chapter 1” good/scary? Not really. Will I watch installments two and three? Oh, most definitely. “Chapter 1” is an ephemeral 91 minutes and doesn’t amount to much. It simultaneously prequelizes, reboots and remakes the original to varying degrees. Harlin, cinematographer José David Montero and editor Michelle Harrison manage to drum up tension, but there’s barely any payoff. (Maybe they’re saving this stuff for chapters two and three, which begs the question whether this simplistic story offers enough narrative to sustain an entire trilogy?) This wouldn’t be rated R if it weren’t for cursing and the depiction of Maya smoking a joint. Most Marvel movies are far more violent than this.

Petsch and Gutierrez are attractive and likable enough leads who do the best they can with the material they’ve been provided. That material (scripted by Alans R. Cohen and Freedland, who co-scribed Todd Phillips’ “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” riff “Due Date”) is admittedly pretty stale.

Seeing “The Strangers: Chapter 1” on opening night with a capacity crowd was an experience. There were talkers (Direct Quotes: “Shoot that motherfucker in the head!,” and “Run, bitch! Run!”) and toddlers (Why?!!!) aplenty. Believe it or not, the bad experience made this bad movie a bit better. I’ll be back for whatever Harlin and Co. have up their sleeves next time out as I’m a glutton for punishment.