At first glance, "The Vow" would appear to be your typical romantic tearjerker due out just in time for Valentine's Day. Upon further inspection though ... well actually that's pretty much exactly what it is.
Cliches abound in what stands to be the most formulaic film of the 2012 season thus far. Leo, played by GQ stud Channing Tatum and Paige, played by Rachel McAdams from "The Notebook," star side-by-side in this — an eye-candy pair so conventionally pretty it's hard to keep your eyes off the screen. Leo and Paige are newlyweds who are involved in a terrible car accident in which Paige's memory of Leo is effectively erased. Leo thusly takes on the daunting task of trying to teach Paige how to love again.
Haven't we had enough of the whole "amnesiac coma as a catalyst of rekindling love" plot yet? It's just so terribly predictable at this point. The entire movie unfolds in the same fashion as one would suspect. One thing that I do look forward to from romance films such as this is a brutal ending. Sadly, no such climax is to be had here. Eye-rolling plot teasers aside, I really did enjoy Sam Neill's role as Paige's overbearing father in this. It has been made clear to me time and time again that Neill is perfectly suited to play a villain. He's not as villainous in this as say "Event Horizon," but he definitely pulls off the jerk father character to a tee, as does Jessica Lange as Paige's mother.
You could successfully make maple syrup from the sap that oozes from every pore of this film. I'm talking gushy, overtly sentimental overkill of the highest order. Yet the sound of collective sobbing in the theater was enough to convince me that this film had done its intended job of reducing its demographic to pure mush. With Valentine's Day just around the corner, there's simply not a more perfect date night movie in theaters. Sure, it's corny and deliberately transparent, but isn't that what this holiday weekend is all about?
If I may play "Dear Abby" for a second here...ladies, be sure to keep in mind that you probably have a real keeper on your hands if your date is able to sit through this in its entirety. At the very least, it displays a great deal of endurance and patience on their part. Gentlemen, also keep in mind: There's nothing romantic about going to see "Red Tails." Make the right choice this Valentine's Day and take her to see "The Vow." For all you singles: Be thankful you have nobody to take to the movies this weekend.