Wanted Man
Dolph directs a dud.
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I’m a Dolph Lundgren dude. I know he does a lot of junk, but it’s often my particular brand of junk. He’s my favorite big screen meathead with a master’s degree in chemical engineering. Then again, he’s probably the only big screen meathead with a master’s degree in chemical engineering.
Dolph began dipping his toes in directorial waters back in the aughts. His seventh film in the director’s chair “Wanted Man” (available in select theaters and on VOD beginning Friday, Jan. 19) despite having strengths (few though they may be) doesn’t seem like the work of a Mensa member.
Dolph stars as Travis Johansen, a disgraced cop who’s struggling to save his job after being recorded slamming a perpetrator’s head in a car door whilst calling him a, “Mexican lowlife.” (Friendly Tip: Maybe don’t slam some crook’s head in a car door and if you do so don’t incorporate the person’s race into your name-calling?)
Johansen’s boss Capt. Hernandez (“24” veteran Roger Cross) offers him a life preserver. If he goes down to Mexico, secures and returns Rosa Barranco (Christina Villa) – an eyewitness to the murders of multiple DEA agents – he’ll be able to continue being a cop. (Sure, send the established racist to escort a shit-scared Mexican woman. What?!!!)
While in Mexico Johansen gets framed for a crime, shot in the gut and has authorities on either side of the border hunting his ass down. The Barranco family offer Johansen refuge – he breaks bread (or tortillas rather) with them and watches telenovela with Rosa’s grandma. Sparks also begin flying between Johansen and his witness. The Barrancos prove to be a brave, kind and noble bunch leaving Johansen questioning his prejudices.
Johansen reaches out to former cop buddies Brynner (Dolph’s fellow Expendable Kelsey Grammer) and Tinelli (Michael Paré) to assist in getting he and Rosa back across the border safely.
“Wanted Man” isn’t an especially good or memorable movie. I watched it a few weeks back and can barely recollect what occurred in it. It’s lean (a mere 85 minutes), doesn’t contain enough mean and there ain’t a whole helluva lot going on in between (Where’s the characterization? Dolph and his co-screenwriters Hank Hugues and Michael Worth (who also co-stars) need to earn those sparks between Johansen and Rosa.) Dolph’s greatest strength as a director is seen during action sequences (No big surprise … also, thanks for the squibby goodness in this world of CGI bullet hits!), but there ain’t enough of ‘em!
A lot of “Wanted Man” plays as parody (Johansen and his cop buddies hang in a strip club while chatting about how retro it is that they’re doing so) and politically confused (one of these cop cronies says Fox News used to be good before it got too liberal – working in direct opposition to Dolph and Co.’s Mexicans are people too narrative).
Despite “Wanted Man” being a bit of a dud, Dolph’s still mah boi. If you’re similarly Dolph-inclined check out his “Die Hard” directorial riff “Command Performance” (in which he plays a drummer who stabs a dastardly dude in the eye with one of his sticks) instead and skip this slog.