Weapons

One classroom, six stories. "Weapons" is a mystery wrapped in rituals that aren't dead… they're just waiting.

Let's get this out of the way: Weapons is not the film you think it is -- and that's precisely what makes it such a wickedly fun ride.

Marketed like it wants to eat your nightmares for breakfast, Weapons instead serves up something more cunning. This isn't your typical jump scare-heavy horror flick; it's a slow-burn, tension-laced mystery with just enough blood rituals and shadowy sorcery to keep you equal parts thrilled and disturbed. If you walked in expecting The Conjuring, you might be surprised to find yourself closer to The Black Phone with a pinch of The Visit's dark humor and an aftertaste of dread.

Directed by Barbarian's Zach Cregger - who, once again, proves he knows how to grab us by the throat with a camera, Weapons follows six interconnected perspectives across a single spine-chilling event: the mysterious overnight disappearance of seventeen elementary school children from Miss Gandy's classroom. It's every parent's worst nightmare... and every horror fan's favorite setup.

The narrative unfolds in chapters, each one focused on a different character tied to the incident. There's Justine Gandy (Julia Garner, delicately unraveling), the anxious schoolteacher under fire. Then there's Archer (Josh Brolin, bringing grizzled gravitas), a grieving father whose desperation cuts deep. Toss in Paul, a cop chasing ghosts; James, a strung-out addict who might know too much; Mr. Marcus, the school principal who’s trying to manage his duties within the crisis; and finally, Alex, the lone child spared from whatever supernatural force swept the others away.

Why was Alex left behind? What connects these seemingly disparate people? Is this mass disappearance a crime, a cover-up, or something ancient and evil working its way through small-town America?

Cregger doesn't hand out answers easily. Instead, he drip-feeds the truth with impeccable pacing, often cutting away from moments just before the scare hits, not to deny us thrills, but to build unbearable suspense. It's a gutsy move, and it pays off.

Visually, Weapons is as sharp as its title implies. The camera follows characters like a curious ghost, tracking their movements, discoveries, and unraveling sanity. The score, too, deserves credit - eerie without being intrusive, it enhances each beat and lets the tension do the heavy lifting.

Is Weapons terrifying? Not exactly. Hardcore horror fans may be left wanting more screams, more blood, more visceral terror. But that's not what this movie is aiming for. It's smarter than that, and arguably scarier because of it. Instead of cheap jolts, it goes for a kind of creeping existential dread, the kind that lingers in the back of your brain long after the credits roll.

And yet, there are moments - a few gruesome, others darkly funny - that had my theater erupting in both gasps and nervous laughter. It's that unpredictable tone, teetering between horror and pitch-black comedy, that makes Weapons feel fresh and unforgettable.

Is it worth the hype? Absolutely. If you're a horror-mystery junkie, this is one you'll want to dissect with friends immediately after. Just… maybe not around children.