Ingredients for a solid B-horror movie: stupidly attractive cast that is either remarkably self-aware or flat-out clueless. Copious blood and gore. Maximum silliness, minimum attempts at real wit. With so much violence yet so little watchability, "You're Next" is 1 for 3.
The premise has potential: A wealthy yet somewhat dysfunctional family reunites at its opulent country home, with significant others in tow, for an anniversary celebration weekend that goes horribly wrong when men in animal masks show up with literal axes to grind. Once in a while, a funny one-liner will pop up in the midst of increasing carnage (for example, when Nicholas Tucci's character explains why no one's cell phone is working — thanks to an illegal device called a jammer — his father yells, "you're such a lowlife!"). More often than not, any attempts at humor (genuine or ironic) or horror are lost to yet another mutilated body or dialogue that's supposed to be darkly funny but is instead just plain tasteless. (You'll know when the latter happens.) Also, can filmmakers please stop juxtaposing a boppy pop song with a bloodbath?
The actors in "You're Next" are neither self-aware nor visibly clueless. It's hard to tell what's going through their heads as they stumble through awkward wording with stiff faces. I'd call the acting "community-theater bad", but that's an insult to community theater. Only Sharni Vinson, as a houseguest with a surprising ability to defend herself and others, can even be called halfway decent.
The main issue with "You're Next" is its aspiration to be another "Cabin in the Woods" or "Cabin Fever." ("Mansion in the Woods"? "Mansion Fever"?) What these two movies had was sharp dialogue and playful weirdness. In contrast, "You're Next" has utter unremarkability. To call this "schlock" would be remarkably kind. In fact, "You're Next" aspires to schlock level. Schlock is fun. "You're Next" is just plain terrible.