Zombie Strippers (2008)

“Zombie Strippers” is the sweet tale of a young girl and her struggle to find herself while facing the challenges life throws her way.

Alright, maybe not.

“Zombie Strippers” lives up to its title and adds enough funny moments to keep it somewhat interesting.

The film plays almost like a satire, opening with George W. Bush being elected to his fourth term as president and with the United States embroiled in multiple wars around the globe. With not enough soldiers, the military naturally decides to attempt to reanimate dead Marines.

One dead head gets loose and stumbles into a strip club run by Essko, played by Freddy Krueger himself, Robert Englund. When his top dancer, Kat (Jenna Jameson), is bitten and becomes a zombie, Essko is concerned for a second until the crowd goes wild for her.

The wheels begin turning, and soon Essko realizes zombie strippers equal big bucks, so he stands by and watches as a crazy scene unfolds. As the zombified chicks begin to take over the stage, the newbie Jessy (Jennifer Holland) struggles with the decision to sit on the sideline or take the plunge and become one of the walking, or in this case stripping, dead.

You’ll never look at the VIP room the same again. The room becomes the strippers’ personal feast hall, and since the club is pulling in a mountain of cash, Essko is more than happy to look the other way.

It’s Englund who makes the film interesting. The actor delivers a multitude of overly cheesy comedic lines and just his body actions are hilarious at times. Equally hilarious is Jameson’s attempt to act. That might be the most terrifying element of the film.

It’s clear the filmmakers were going for that good ol’ campy feel, but “Zombie Strippers” never really achieves it. Other films such as “ThanksKilling” go after it and get it perfectly, but “Zombie Strippers” just plays like a dumb movie. Nothing makes it particularly special or memorable.

The one aspect that might draw in a few viewers is that the film features more than its fair share of bare chests. It’s a staple of the movie from the moment the strip club comes into play. Still, the movie is just not an entertaining watch.

After the zombie strippers get out of control, the “Z” squad is sent in to clean up the joint and does so in bloody fashion. During this time, the squad learns that the zombies were allowed to escape by the Bush Administration as a distraction. Like I said, it tries to go for a political satire feel, but never gets there.

“Zombie Strippers” is filled with annoying characters, poor acting and horrible dialogue. Most of the time, that would be a good recipe for a good Schlock Vault classic, but in this case it’s a recipe for disaster.

If schlock is what you need, steer clear of “Zombie Strippers." This is not the schlock you’re looking for.