Another Take: ReelBob: ‘F9’ ★★

The series has grown too big for its britches — it's too fast, too furious and too preposterous, with eye-rolling vehicular stunts and banal dialogue that makes you chuckle.

I am neither a scientist nor an automotive engineer, but I am quite sure that the vast majority of extreme vehicle stunts displayed in “F9” are aerodynamically implausible — in real life.

Really after seeing the movie, remember the old warning — don’t try this at home.

Cars, trucks and armored vehicles twist, turn, fly and flip in such outlandish way that they are nearly cartoonish.

And like an old Looney Tunes or Popeye cartoon, when things go boom, people simply brush off the dust and walk away.

This is how the “Fast and Furious” franchise has devolved. What started out as movies about outlaw street racers has swelled into a dumbed-down, blue-collar James Bond-like series of movies about people who travel the world in super-modified vehicles and high-grade weapons that would make a SEAL team envious.

Personally, I keep asking myself, “Don’t these people have jobs?” “How do they afford food, housing, clothing and those fancy cars?

Twist my arm and I’ll admit I enjoyed “F9,” simply because it has become so over-the-top that you cannot apply any logic to anything that happens, so you just lean back and enjoy the ride (but make sure you buckle up).

The filmmakers are giving the fans what they want — loud, stupid and big action sequences. Logic, it seems, has no place in the “F&F” universe.

Like the majority of movies in the series, the underpinnings are about the importance and bonds of family. And, like some of its predecessors, “F9” offers some life lessons lifted from “Life Lessons for Dummies.”

Among the bromides offered here are, “It’s not about being the stronger man, it’s the bigger one” or “Be precise in life.” Yep, words to live by.

At its core, “F9” is about sibling rivalry. After eight films, we learn that Vin Diesel’s Dominic Toretto has a younger brother, Jakob (Jon Cena). Dom blames Jakob for their father’s death during a motorsport race.

Ironically, for a guy who spouts a lot about family loyalty, Dom treated Jakob like crap. He basically told him to get out of town and stay out. This all happened in the past — as numerous flashbacks detail.

Jakob, a former operative of the enigmatic Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell), has gone rogue, striking out on his own. He has abducted Cipher (Charlize Theron, reprising her role from “The Fate of the Furious”), even though it appears he does not need her help, and is seeking Ares, one of those infinite devices that can control the world.

Of course, Dom and his crew, including wife, Letty (Michelle Rodriquez), his sister, Mia (Jordana Brewster), Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Chris “Ludacris” Bridges) and Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuel), take up the challenge of stopping Jakob.

(I can almost hear an on-screen announcer saying in his description of the movie, “This time, it’s personal!)

As in earlier movies in the series, people return from the dead and a few guest stars pop in for a quick cameo.

Despite its outlandish and preposterous stunts and banal dialogue, “F9” appeals to you because of its childlike innocence about right and wrong. It’s juvenile adventure fodder, Tom Swift or Harry Potter charging around in souped-up vehicles to mete justice and save the world.

Even though the franchise has become too fast and too furious for its own good, “F9” is like a siren’s song; you can’t help but listen — even if you chide yourself for doing so.

I am a founding member of the Indiana Film Journalists Association. I review movies, 4K UHD, Blu-rays and DVDs for ReelBob (ReelBob.com), The Film Yap and other print and online publications. I can be reached by email at bobbloomjc@gmail.com. You also can follow me on Twitter @ReelBobBloom and on Facebook at ReelBob.com or the Indiana Film Journalists Association. My movie reviews also can be found at Rotten Tomatoes: www.rottentomatoes.com.

F9
2 stars out of 4
(PG-13), action and destructive violence, language