The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

A sweet, mild holiday story about the town family of misfits who help some snooty church folks find the true meaning of Christmas. Starts very slow, but sticks the landing.

If you’re looking to be swaddled in sweet, wholesome Christmas storytelling for the whole family, you could do worse than “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.” It’s not quite naughty enough for any truly edgy humor a la “A Christmas Story” — the best mix of sentimentality and sarcasm, in my book — thought it tries not to seem too nice.

Directed by Dallas Jenkins, a faith-based filmmaker best known for the series “The Chosen,” it’s based on the beloved 1973 book by Barbara Robinson. Set in a small New England-y town, it’s about a sextet of children, the Herdmans, who terrorize the school and set their sights on taking over the annual Christmas pageant.

I’m not giving anything away by revealing that in the end, the Herdmans find the Christmas spirit within their hearts — and the judge-y church folks finally extend them a measure of grace.

It stars Judy Greer and Pete Holmes as Grace and Bob Bradley, parents of two kids who are regularly in the pageant, Beth (Molly Belle Wright) and Charlie (Sebastian Billingsley-Rodriguez), and also frequent targets of the Herdmans. When the regular pageant director goes down with an injury, Grace steps in to take over — partly just because the nattering church wives don’t think she can pull it off.

The Herdmans live in a ramshackle house with a mother no one can recall seeing — town gossip is the kids offed her long ago — and normally don’t go anywhere near the church. But Charlie blabs to them about all the free desserts they get at Sunday school and rehearsals, so the Herdmans decide to horn in and take over.

Cowing all the other kids into submission, they are cast in all the major pageant roles, including Mary and Joseph, the three wise men and the angel. Of course, they know nothing of Jesus or the whole nativity story, and rehearsals quickly dissolve into disaster.

The Herdmans are the source of most of the laughs in the movie (screenplay by Ryan Swanson, Platte Clark and Darin McDaniel), operating as a red-headed confederation of bullies to steal lunch money, pelt people with stinging snowballs, throw classroom tantrums and other PG-rated shenanigans.

Beatrice Schneider plays the oldest and leader, Imogene, who insists on playing Mary even though she doesn’t think she’s sweet and pretty enough to be the Virgin Mother. Gladys (Kynlee Heiman), the youngest and most volatile, seems almost feral with her missing two front teeth and a penchant for roaring at people. The middling boys are played by Mason D. Nelligan, Matthew Lamb, Ewan Wood and Essek Moore.

The movie starts out slow — very, very slow. Honestly, I was shifting in my seat for the first 45 minutes. Part of the problem is the movie can’t figure out who the lead character is, with Grace, Beth and Imogene all taking turns as the center focus. Greer plays it down the middle without any kind of ironic winking, and honestly I thought her character would be relatable with more of a puckish angle.

Holmes is kind of wasted as the trad dad, always puttering around in the background, not particularly helpful with anything. Lauren Graham narrates, apparently from a perspective of some time in the future, as the main story seems to be set in the 1980s.

However, the film sticks the landing quite nicely, and I defy even the most ardent atheist not to get a little misty when the pageant finally comes together — not in the way anyone expected, but still very heartwarming.

I kind of dug the subtext of the little microcosm community of a small-town church, with the reverend (Kirk B.R. Woller) trying to delicately balance making everyone feel welcome while tolerating the low-key hostility of the church ladies. Danielle Hoetmer is especially forbidding, with even some Cruella de Vil vibes, as the mother of Alice (Lorelei Olivia Mote), the snotty kid who’s upset she’s not the star of the pageant, like she is every year.

“The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” is far from the best Christmas movie I’ve seen. But if you don’t mind the overt appeal to Christian faith, it’s got enough twinkle for a non-offensive holiday experience.