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Mari Posa's avatar

I have a completely different view on Bob. I don't see "using others for carnal conquests" at all. He always comes back, he is sweet in his gestures, he always asks what's going on with both Alex and Daniel, he even tells Alex he loves her and she is the one who doesn't say it back. He also always said he wanted to go to NY. He just is comfortable with who he is and what he wants. Alex and Daniel are older, with different generational values and old traumas, they still have worries about gender roles, about pleasing their families and about how relationship should be like. The Bar Mitzva scene is all about this, also the scene with Bob leaving the party with Daniel's friends when a drunk girl causes a scene because of jealousy in the most heterosexual way and Daniel is passive about it. Bob is just free of any guilt and confortable creating relationships outside the norms, Daniel and Alex are still on their way to be able to communicate and be true to themselves, Alex being a bit ahead.

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Christopher Lloyd's avatar

Appreciate hearing your thoughts. I'll just note that Bob's being comfortable with who he is and what he wants seems to correlate amazingly close with not having to take on any responsibilities.

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PTCC's avatar

Not the same thing at all. When Alex tells him she isn't happy with their arrangment anymore he sets his boundaries and says he doesn't want to be in a monogamous relationship, but is calm, listens to hers and respects her decision without manipulating her to stay with him, that's being responsible. He also has never hidden anything from their partners, even their friends (the couple with kids) seems to know he is with both Alex and Daniel. Not everyone wants a non-monogamous relationship and thats fine, everyone should know and be able to talk about their own boundaries, but I loved how a movie from the 1970's showed a non-monogamous bisexual character that doesn't feel guilty about bein a non-monogamous bisexual.

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Michael Patrick O’Leary's avatar

I saw the film at the time and remember not much about it apart from the kiss and the fact that I did not like it. I actively and positively loathed another Schlesinger film: Darling. Even though I adored Julie Christie otherwise.

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